A.C.'s Medical Necessity

Merry Christmas! If you’ve never seen it, The Thin Man is your new favorite Christmas movie. May we all be hung-over, shooting pop-guns, and wearing our furs this morning.

From one of the best Christmas movies of all time! Start at 1:18 for a true taste of Christmas spirit scorned.

I love all the National Lampoon movies with Chevy Chase. Clark Griswold has always reminded me of my Dad, from the sweet silliness to massive, goofy freak-outs when things go wrong.

In case you didn’t get enough Abba earlier (FACT: You can never get enough Abba!) here’s the wonderful Abba dance routine from Muriel’s Wedding where Muriel and Rhonda show those hateful “We’re mad! People know we’re mad!” bitches what’s up.

If you’ve never seen Muriel’s Wedding, please do yourself a huge fucking favor and report to Netflix immediately for viewing. It is so so good. Although maybe it’s just me. I’ve discovered recently that I have a soft spot for Australian comedies (you think there aren’t that many, but then Netflix is suggesting you watch Strictly Ballroom and Cosi and you start realizing that there’s more than you thought.) I think it might be the uglyish people or possibly the accents, but Australian comedies are so oddly satisfying.

More fun facts: I’ve never met an Australian person I haven’t liked. Every Australian person I’ve ever met has been a huge, enthusiastic, half-drunk young man at a bar who tells me how much fun he’s having in America and/or tries to make out with me. Maybe later there’s public nudity (on his part) involved. I’m not kidding. This has happened more than once. Australians seem like a cheerful, enthusiastic people who really appreciate the ability to drive faster than the speed limit, turn right on red, possibly make out with me, and drop trou in a bar on a Tuesday night. Who wouldn’t like that?

ABBA!!

There is nothing wrong with ABBA. If you ever want to see something just totally fucking perfect, don’t go to a museum, just watch this video, just listen to some fucking Abba. The shiny clothes! That hat! The half-hearted dancing! 

Fun fact: As a karaoke veteran, I can tell you that this song is deceptively difficult. You think it’s a bunch of silly shouting, but then when it’s you up there under the lights trying to make shouting “Waterloo!” over and over not sound shitty, you realize what really difficult work these singers were doing.

 Hero time! A little more current hero for you: ROOOOBYN!!

Every line of this song is badass. (Right now, you’re probably thinking, how’d she get in them jeans? Well, I’m gifted, all-natural, and bursting the seams!)

 That’s why this song (and like, a million others by Robyn) is a staple on my running playlist.Try to watch this video and not fall in love. She’s so adorably feisty.

Hero Time! Miss Piggy. This bitch is bad enough to wear her rings on the outside of her gloves and scream like a maniac when she doesn’t get her way! So. Fucking. Classy.

How dare Carol Channing (who, I’ll grant, is also kind of awesome) show up to a fancy party wearing the same dress as Piggy! Faux pas, Carol! Faux pas! And you’d better not try to front on Piggy like you have more diamonds. Puh-lease! Piggy’s mother was a diamond and her father was a Swiss bank account! She’s lost more fabulousness than most of us will ever have!

Not heroes. I just really wanted to see this today.

I wouldn’t mind being one of the “doo doo doo” muppets though. That pink fur! The pouty lips! Those gorgeous eyelashes. Work it, ladies!

Classy. Gorgeous voice. Looks amazing with short hair. Gets to hang out with Muppets. Julie Andrews is fucking awesome.

If you didn’t sob like a baby during that Oprah episode where she talked about how she couldn’t sing any more, just accept the fact that you don’t have a soul.

One show, two heroes! Edina and Patsy are fearless, badass, stumbling drunks. They have the awesome don’t-give-a-fuck-ness that is usually only seen in much older women.

They remind me the 90-year-oldish granny I saw slapping the trunk of a taxi and screaming “Fuck you asshole!” on the very first day I arrived in New York. When I saw her wearing a floral muumuu and flipping that guy off I was so inspired.  I thought, “I want to be just like her when I grow up.” That’s when I stopped being scared and knew I was home!